Success. Like champagne, it hits you in the head. The person who was hitting rock bottom yesterday feels like the ruler of the world today. Why does this happen? It seems like there should be a lot to celebrate. But success is not just pleasant bonuses, but also a powerful neurochemical hit that changes your personality. In this article, we will discuss how victory turns a modest person into a self-love narcissist and how not to lose yourself at the top.
When you achieve success (winning a competition, a promotion, a big deal), the brain releases dopamine — the hormone of pleasure and reward. This is pleasant. But the problem is that dopamine causes addiction. The brain demands repetition. People start chasing new achievements not for the meaning, but for the next "dose". Moreover, success is often accompanied by an increase in testosterone (in men), which enhances confidence, sometimes to the level of arrogance. Biochemistry temporarily disables critical thinking. You start to believe that you are unique, infallible, chosen. This is what we call "a dizzy head".
A well-known cognitive effect: incompetent people overestimate themselves, while professionals tend to underestimate. With success, the opposite happens: a person who has reached one peak extrapolates this success to all other areas. "If I'm great in business, then I understand politics and childrearing." This is a cognitive distortion called "false uniqueness". Success convinces you that you are exceptional, and your opinion on any issue is more important than others. You stop listening to advice, even if you are a beginner in the subject.
Success attracts people who want to be around a "star". Sycophants, flatterers, those who need something from you. They rarely tell the truth. The circle of communication narrows to "advisors" who agree with everything. This creates an information bubble. You stop getting feedback. Any of your ideas are perceived as brilliant. Gradually, you lose touch with reality: you start to think that "the people love you", and any attacks are "envy of failures". Your head spins from this echo.
Success gives rise to an illusion of control. It seems that you are controlling events, not the other way around. But life is more complex. Success often depends on luck, the right time, help from others. However, people tend to attribute their success to themselves (self-help) and attribute failures to external circumstances. Over time, this habit becomes fixed. You start to take risks where there is no need for them. Remember the stories of ruined bankers or celebrities who opened their business without knowledge and failed. They were simply dizzy.
Star syndrome is a complex of behavioral changes: refusing old friends, switching to "you" with subordinates, demanding special conditions, inability to apologize. The basis is the fear of becoming "nobody" again. A person starts to build walls of status items (expensive watches, cars, yachts) to confirm their significance. Inside, however, there is a void: previous goals have been achieved, new ones have not been set, and hedonistic adaptation makes the pleasure of success more and more short-lived. Your head spins, but there is no joy.
The first way is to stay in touch with critically-minded people. Make a friend who will tell you the truth to your face. The second is the practice of gratitude and reflection: every evening write down who you owe your success to (not just yourself). The third is to keep learning. Success should not be the end, but a stage. The fourth is to help others. Paradox: the more you give, the less you risk becoming conceited. The fifth is not to forget about your former "unsuccessful" self. Keep a diary, read your entries from five years ago. This sober you up.
Success is not the end, but a test. A test of character. Some fail, become tyrants and end up alone. Some keep their human face, continue to grow and remain happy. Your head can spin at any time. It is important to sit down on the bench in time, drink some water and look at the sky. It is the same as on the day of your first small success. Do not forget this.
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